“Eta Agbor Mary Slessor Watt…” He screamed that repeatly turning nouns into verbs without using punctuations… These words are what you hear in a busy calabar metropolis.

The symbiotic relationship between every bus drivers and their conductor are so mutual. It’s what I’ve come to cherish in the transport business.

Asuquo does conducting work so perfectly as if he went to Harvard for it. “Madam enter with your change o, I no want wahala when we reach o” this statement Asuquo will keep resounding mostly when he is hungry and the sun seems to worsen his situation. Lol!

Affiong, who heard Asuquo resounding; “Madam enter with your change o, I no want wahala when we reach o”, paid deaf ears to the wordings of a tired young man in his late 20s. Arriving her destination, she handed over a note with Clement Isong photo on it. Frustrated Asuquo, with his round bulky eyes, push them out which will make anyone think he want to peruse the future, fiercely told Affiong; “this change no dey! I been tell you before!”.

…“so what should I do, look for change for me” Affiong with her well furnished queen’s English, replied Asuquo. The physically down to earth Asuquo pocket his home training, at this point, both had a verbal fight for minutes.

“I am not your class! You dirty smelling thing, fool!” – she said. “No go find work do o, you think say conductor na work” – Affiong added.

I was actually shocked that Affiong with her sleeveless yellow gown, face perfectly decorated with melanin and Mary Kay, with an Xpression attachment believe to be colour 35, could dish a well garnish pidgin to our listening pleasure. Abasi Mmi Ke Ikpa Oyong!

Meanwhile, on the other I was awe that Affiong was well decorated outwardly but her human relations and approach was a reeked, a niff if I should say. Mbanu!

See eh, I don’t know who is seeing this. Most of us do see Asuquo as vulnerable, who has no choice than to do his job. Let me shock you, Asuquo is also a public servant just like you, but a brown collar public servant.

Most time Asuquo tend to misbehave some days, you shouldn’t compare yourself with him. You have been inside a chilled air conditioned room, while he has been tormented by even every non-living thing around him all day. You can politely call Asuquo to order, he will listen, I know him.

Conclusively, I want to point this out, no bus conductor is vulnerable or have “no choice”. The “smelling Asuquo” you called today is a family head, a “daddy”…

Think of this, you don’t like how a living he-goat do smell, but the aroma that comes from that same he-goat when used for pepper can aid amend your broken relationship. Let’s learn to treat humans as “humans”. To Asuquo and his brothers, you’re valued. Trust me!

Please note this, the names in this fictive write up are mere imagery work of the author – Nsikak Ibatt and not depicting anyone.

No part of this piece should be copy, modify or publish without the author permission/credit